So, this blog is getting a little more real than I originally planned. When I first set it up last fall, I told the guy designing it for me that I was “keeping this one objective,” unlike Renaissance Housewife, my dusty old blog where I talked openly about my own life.
But after a few months of posting on Exit Normal, I find myself discussing my own life more and more. I’m finding that it’s almost impossible to talk about the topics I talk about unless I make it personal. Which means talking about my life. Which means sharing the blood and guts of my painful transformation from yuppie, suburban, uninspired housewife who didn’t believe in herself or about much of the good in the world into someone who is something more, living in a world that is so much more. Which means sharing the process, the journey, however hard it is to put down here on this page and into the public eye. Which means sharing myself, hoping it not only helps you but also me and gives voice to the intentions forming quietly but powerfully in my soul. Which means we both–you and me–can fly free.
So, if I’m talking too much about myself or you don’t feel you understand the journey I’m on, please feel free to unsubscribe from this website or otherwise tune me out. I won’t be offended. I’d rather have two really connected people reading along than two hundred disinterested ones. But if you DO get what I’m trying to do and have friends who would get what I’m trying to do, please share my posts so I can build the community and feel like I’m getting somewhere on this crazy journey. And, if you get it and feel something when you read along, please comment and add to the conversation I’ve started. This makes me feel connected, it makes you feel connected, and it starts yet one more positive virus in a world that so desperately needs positivity.
Life’s door is not always easy. It’s often a portal into complete and utter confusion of where you’re supposed to go, who you’re supposed to be, what message you’re supposed to listen to, and so on. And, to make matters more confusing, often you start on one path as a youngster and then begin to change as you get older. I call this growing wings. Eventually, the wings will fly you into the Kingdom of Heaven, which is an elusive place even for the religious. I don’t know anything about this Kingdom, really, other than what I’ve heard and read, but I assume it’s the place of ecstasy. We’re promised this Place by just about every religion, just for playing along.
Speaking of religion, even this can be confusing. I’ve been a church-attending Roman Catholic all my life. As a Catholic, I’ve learned all kinds of things about what life is about and what we are supposed to do to get to Heaven. Some doctrines I agree with, some I don’t. (Mostly I’m confused about doctrine having any place in spirituality.) But lately I’ve begun to customize my own faith, which is strengthening me in surprising ways and giving me new life beyond the pew. But we’ll get into to that later. It’s related, but not related.
The thing I’m trying to do in my life is hard to explain. In simple terms, I was lost and now am trying to let myself be found. A tidal wave of themes crash one after one upon my awareness. I believe these themes are magically being placed in my path by the Source of Everything. By God.
But then all these themes talk themselves silly in my head and I don’t know what to do with them.
I’m usually a very organized person. Throughout my life, I’ve made outlines, formed lists, and compiled binders about whatever life project I was working on. So, here I am now, feeling lost in life and spirit, and I let myself flounder? This didn’t make sense. Recently, I had a thought deep in the middle of the night: I need to make a list. I usually listen to deep-in-the-middle-of-the-night thoughts, so I’ve made a list. To help with my healing. And to help organize my life walk toward happiness and understanding and truth and peace and enlightenment.
First on the list: STOP TRYING SO HARD.
Let go. Let things happen. Don’t plan so much. Don’t worry so hard. Life doesn’t have to be this difficult. You have a few short breaths and then it’s time to sleep. There’s peace in that, don’t you think?
All my life, I’ve gone for the head pat. Don’t ask me why. It has something to do with just trying to be a good girl and do the right thing and make everyone in my life happy. But I’ve come to the conclusion, as you may have, too, that everything is always easier when I stop trying so hard. First of all, no one cares. No one cares if I try hard or don’t; no one cares if I succeed or fail. And no one cares if I’m happy or not. (I use “no one” in the grand sense, of course. I do have loved ones who would probably care how I was doing.)
Overall, this life is a thing of beauty and will flow on in beauty if we humans can just give up our egotistical vision of ourselves. I recently heard this quote from biologist Jonas Salk: “If all insects on Earth disappeared, within 50 years all life on Earth would end. If all human beings disappeared from Earth, within 50 years all forms of life would flourish.” We just need to get out of the driver’s seat and realize we’re not in control of everything. Nor should we be.
It doesn’t matter what we own; what we own does not the person make. It doesn’t matter who we know or how many friends we have. It doesn’t matter how much money we make or what kind of house we live in or what kind of car we drive. In the total scheme of our entire lives, it just doesn’t matter at all.
For the Christians among us, let’s look to Jesus. He gave up everything He had or could have had to live a life walking among poor people. He didn’t do His good work and then drive back to the suburbs, right? He gave up creature comforts. He gave up political alliances and really created a revolution of Letting Go, to the point of giving up his own life on the cross. And only when he gave it up–gave His life COMPLETELY away–did the Kingdom of Heaven begin its reign on earth, according to the Scriptures.
I read this and feel that His life is a metaphor for how we can live ours. If we give it all away, at least in our sense of priorities if not in actuality, we have the ability to find the Kingdom of Heaven. You’ve certainly heard the phrase, “Let go and let God.” But how seriously do you live that phrase?
The other topics, which I’ll cover a series of posts over the next little while, are below. Feel free to tune in, if you get what I’m talking about and are looking for this kind of transformation in your own life, too. I appreciate all of your support and am so grateful to walk this journey with you. I believe we’re all together in this new revolution of people looking for a new age: a new age of being, thinking, and acting that will eventually create happier humans and a healthier world. What else can we do?
- I’m no guru, but that’s OK.
- Be Still
- Be Grateful!
- We’re All in This Together
- Listen with Your Heart
- Ask the Right Questions
- Surround Yourself With Wisdom
- Keep on Keeping On
- Stay Positive: Illuminating Your Life
- Just Breathe
- It’s a Revolution
- Lay Your Weapon Down
- Lost and Trying to Be Found
- Customizing Your Life
- Too Much of Anything is Less of Everything
- Love Is (that’s all.)
- Don’t Judge, even Nicely
- Tune Out the Naysayers
- Don’t Be Afraid
- Stay True to You