We’ve all faced times in our lives when we were sailing above the clouds. That first few weeks of falling in love. Or that moment we first cradled our newborn baby in our arms. All those days that seemed to go right–we hit all the green lights, the spouse was in a good mood, the grilled cheese sandwiches didn’t burn. We go to bed as those days wind down, thinking, “I can do this. Life is easy!”
But then there are the other days. The bad days. The ones that make us want to crawl in a hole and hide. The sun isn’t out and the grayness sinks into our bodies like a flu we can’t shake. We have too much to do and we take joy from none of it. Our hearts are beating fast against our ribs, too fast, as we wait in line at the grocery store, wait on hold with the gas company, open our mail and see all the bills. We can’t remember a time when anybody, throughout the whole day, smiled at us.
That’s when we think, “Whew, why can’t life be easy?”
Listen, I’m boiling in the same stew pot you are. Failed dreams, bills to pay, unwanted tasks, sinking hopes, moody depths, cold feet, feelings of imperfection, nervous heart, and things just, in general, falling apart. Wishing the sun would come out or the mood would improve but it seems there’s no hope for either. I can’t claw my way out of the pot… the sides are too slippery and I have no control over my fate. I seem to be an innocent bystander of my life, which sometimes seems to be rocketing out of control by the minute. I’m numb, blank stare, head in a fog.
That’s on my bad days.
But on my good days, I’m slowly morphing into this new person. This person I sense we all can become. I know we can become, since I know intrinsically we are part of the Divine, and the Divine is part of us.
The blood is rushing back into my cold limbs and digits with both tingling energy and stabbing pain. The black and white facade is going to technicolor. I’m waking up.
The numb normal I’d so long experienced is giving way to an alive energy that is nowhere near normal for me… the me who skated through the motions, along with my peers, along with my culture, along with the memes I absorbed as a young girl without any critical thinking whatsoever. A new me is crashing through the old exterior and I’m in love with the potential of what she can become.
But as I exit the old, normal way, I am creating a new normal for me and my family that, frankly, leaves me, as one of my blog readers recently described it, shit scared and having kittens about my decision.
If one line can describe my change in attitude, it’s this –> YES, I CAN.
Yes, I can do things my own way.
Yes, I can change the things about my life I don’t like and not care what anyone else thinks.
Yes, I can meet my goals.
Yes, I can enjoy every moment as a beautiful gift from the Universe.
Yes, I can have faith in myself and in the fact that everything will be okay.
Yes, I can see love as the binding glue of everything in my life and the entire galaxy.
Yes, I can get stronger, get through, move on, bury my mom, face my fears, say what I mean, focus my mind, forgive my enemies, float on through bad times, keep my patience, listen well, see with open eyes, cherish my life, be vulnerable, lose my ego, and live as simply as a child.
Yes, I can.
Can you? Write and tell me about it.